Monday, March 05, 2007

Excite Belt!

I gotta give it up for this. Stylish yet classy. If you'd rather crack-out to 8-bit Metroid than Gears of War there's finally something that will help you destroy your own personal ass-crack. I predict this one accessory will inspire me to really start taking fashion seriously. In fact I've decided to finally do it: I'm going to try wearing pants.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Bottom Gun

Yes, that's a chinchilla bomber jacket. I must visit the alternate reality that outfits it's military with these puppies (sorry!). It must be a world where global conflicts are settled on the dance floor. Hey, it's only 6 large. You should get two. Then we could both most certainly be mistaken for veteran pilots as we take our moms out to brunch.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

You've got big balls.

Custom jeans for $45! Bad pics though which scares me. They might be dorky looking but that's not a bad price to try it out. You should let me know how that goes. Make sure you don't select the "Cavaricci" style. Man those guys must still be taking shit for that. "Hey, I know! Let's add these big ass wings on the front!" Hot. They're probably still wearing all the overstock and can't even get into the bar at Outback Steakhouse. I can just see them peaking into the window and getting super pissed because Hammer is in there flirting with the new waitresses. Man, Hammer's car is gonna get fucked up.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Nike Spurs are next.

Sometimes people take retro a little too far. That's ok. The Monkeys sorta tried it too and they had that cool apartment. If you're gonna go back though, just go all the way. Bring back the Grecian leaf-crown or further, the leopard skin one-shoulder unitard with oversized club. Personally I'm looking for a chain mail hoodie. It's for my ren-fair rapper outfit. Forsooth, Weonch!

Friday, October 20, 2006

Worst Superhero Ever.

Tie Man
Originally uploaded by icarusjapan.
I know. I love ties too. I'd dress film noir everyday if I could. I suppose I actually can but then occasionally I'd look at little over dressed these days. Like this gentleman. Being a leading expert on cool clothing now I can assure you this guy's look is not as hot as you think. At minimum stick with the pants plus shirt theory. You'll make it home if you take the subway and you wont have to constantly squat when you pay for things. Sorry, Pam!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

News Flash: Boat shoes aren't goth.

Sometimes something comes along that makes me want to break my $100 rule. I'd have to try these on first but I like what I see so far. Well, technically that's $100 per shoe, right? Problem solved. They actually have a lot of cool shoes on sale right now. And they're really not too expensive. I'm just a big whiner. Besides I see you're making the big bucks now with your fancy "matching socks" and "toothbrush".

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Bringing Sucker Back

Justin Timberlake released a new line of $200 jeans and $50 logo covered t-shirts which bring sexy neither back nor hence. Thanks, Justin! Big help. Should I make my check out to "JT" or "Mr Douche Sommelier"? I love his albums but I can live without them just like these clothes. If you're spending $200 on jeans you're probably trying too hard to get some. Here's a tip: Tijuana. $200 will get you lots of love and delicious sopes. You will also come home with change in your pocket and cheap prescriptions to control the outbreaks.