This things I know.

Tight Clothes
Originally uploaded by Inkybrain.

I've learned stuff since I've become a world renowned professional fashion blogger. For example, nice clothes are only a part of the equation. They have to fit right first. Try things on before you buy and don't be afraid to walk away if it feels wrong. Just like Friendster or that "incident" you had at summer camp.

Less is more.

Sometimes you go to work in your snazzy new outfit and sometimes when you do they make you go home. Whatever you do don't give up. We can do this. We are going to find cool work clothes together. I'm not waxing my stomach with you again, though. Also, please stop trying to leave your "The Bachelorette" DVDs at my place.

Does this shirt make me look like a parking lot?

I like the cuffs and the slightly non-normal details of these shirts. They're not too weird but not boring and they're sturdy so it'll survive the rigors of your night out at the tranny dinner club. I like this one but it's hard to tell the cut of it because it looks like the shirt model is pulling the shirt back so it appears more tailored when it's probably not.
What else are you hiding from us, shirt model?? LET ME HEAR YOU SING "BIG SPENDER"!!

André 3000 would be proud.

The cool hat makes you cool.
Originally uploaded by noah es muy guapo!.

It's getting cold out so you should have a good hat. I'm not sure which haberdashery this gentleman found his but I would probably avoid it. Also avoid any clothing stores with "Play It Again Sports" in the name.

The $400 hoodie: When irony eats itself.

I remember in the early 90s when the mall sold flannels for $40. Things like that makes it hard sometimes to jump on the fashion bandwagon. Although maybe I should start buying up all the braided leather belts I can find. Extra long ones for the dangle effect. That shit has to next big thing in hipster clothes. This is all based on my new Uncle Jesse From Full House Fashion Predictor. That d00d was ahead of the curve. Now where the fuck can I find kegs of mousse?

Fashion Accessories by Tron

I totally love all these future-watches I see about every 10 minutes on the electronic-tubeweb. I hate wearing watches though. Someone please start future-thinking on everything else in the world. Here's a list of things I need in order of ascending importance:

- Self-heating winter clothing
- Fortified gummi vegetables
- Car INTERIOR washes
- Curry burgers
- 40 minute roller coasters

Fashion Therapy Session: Part 11

Sometimes your dog is more hip than you. Some dogs are workers like that. They need things to do. Just rub their bellies and thank them for still hanging with you while you're still purging golf shirts from your closet. Don't worry. You'll catch up.